donger need food.

Pagsasarili

Spending a few days in America's Finest City this past weekend gave me an opportunity to revisit a few of those places that my restless spirit haunted in the past. Throughout the process, I was occassionally reminded of another place and time; digging up feelings and thoughts that I left long ago on a quest for some romantic ideal of what my life should have been. And yet, after some six years of life in the bay area, this Southern California suburban boy has cycled back to just that -- an awkward solitary soul roaming through the concrete highways, camera in hand.

My head has been filled with The Killers' Change Your Mind, a track that I just can't get out of my head -- hints of New Order's Technique album, and heck...I swear there's even inklings of Book of Love in there (if you can believe that). It's been playing on repeat in the car since early last week, a strangely warm day where I found myself on my lunch break in a weird deja vu mode out on Page Mill Road with the windows & sunroof open, sun beating down. Just me and my car, alone with the music, the weather, and my thoughts about my career...not too unlike those sunny days working out of La Jolla, fresh out of college, thinking: "is this all that there is?"

I'm grateful for my brother's Snow Patrol recommendation, which I'm finding to be another good echo board for my current state of moodiness...

So after the disappointment of the Friday gloominess, Saturday ended up turning into a beautiful partly cloudy day, finding myself in the tourist trap of Balboa Park. It's been years since I've visited the grounds, and it's a "target rich environment" for anyone armed with a camera -- I was hoping to capture images that would try to express the constraint of the 6x6 square. I failed miserably. :(

Nevertheless, the walk did well to consume the late-night calorie-fest that was Valentine's extra special pollo asado burrito (and large horchata). Next up, the beach...

On a whim, I decided to return to Torrey Pines State Beach, where I found myself a frequent visitor during college on post-failed-midterm ventures, and late afternoon lecture breaks...oh, the days of angst and uncertainty as an insecure asian in his early twenties. If you look hard enough, you can see that guy parked in the parents' old hand-me-down-car on the side of the road, feebly attempting to cram for that weekly quiz -- mind drifting in and out of concentration, distracted by the dolphins riding the crashing waves in front of him. Turning around, he sees both ends of a rainbow that spans the entire length of the valley floor; an Amtrak Coaster crosses underneath, speeding its passengers southward to their next destination.

I miss that feeling you get heading southbound on North Torrey Pines Road out of Del Mar, coming down the hill, cliffs on the left, trees on the right, and right when you cross Carmel Valley Road, it opens up into this great expanse of tributaries, marshland, beach, cliffs in the distance covered with wind-blown Pinus Torreana, and a pair of steel rails cutting a swath through it all.

It's so easy to burn so much gas roaming the miles of coastline down there.

And people thought I was insane racking up thirty thousand miles a year. Maybe they were right?

posted by VirtualErn @ 1:12 AM

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]