donger need food.

I Think I Can...I Think I Can

It was like a scene out of a TV commercial. You know, the kind where the car stops in the middle of the road and there's like rocks and pebbles frozen in time and the narrator walks around this frozen scene and talking about how safe and smooth and ultra rad his company's snazzy car is? Well...I was sitting there near the front of the northwest corner conference room, with 15 other peers/bosses/subordinates staring at the powerpoint training presentation, when my cherished half-full and lidless grande Americano decided to leap to its misery, washing the table in a sticky but oh so yummy smelling mess.

"Ernie, that's it, you're cut off", whimpers a heckler from the back.

And I predicted it too. All the factors were there, like some bermuda trianglish combination of events that intersected in some weird aligned-plants-cosmic-ray-star-crossing thingy:

1. It was raining today, so I couldn't drive fast enough for my usual 3PM run to Starbucks down the street in the allotted 15 minute break.
2. Because of #1, I had to resort to coffee from the cafeteria Starbucks...skeptical of the Barista talent, I passed on the usual and opted instead for the fallback safety drink: Americano with sugar and cinnamon.
3. Because of #2, the drink was too hot to use a lid, so I took the lid off

It was at that moment that I envisioned myself spilling my drink. "Wouldn't it be funny (sad)", I thought. 5 minutes into my caffeine high and right on cue...sticky keyboard, nearly shorted cellphone, and a nice brown memento on my jeans.

So it must be a hidden power. The same thing happened when I was eating my mac-n-cheese. And countless other times that I fail to recall...but I swear, it's there... I envision it, and next thing you know, it happens.

I just have to work on this power.

Concentrate.

And practice...

Then, the next thing you'll know, I'll be throwing that perfect 15 yard fade pattern off a naked bootleg into the back corner of the end zone.


(raaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh. the crowd goes wild.)

posted by VirtualErn @ 12:35 AM

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