donger need food.

My Four Wheeled Steed

For the past 19 and a half years, it served not only as a means for me to get to work, but it was my refuge: my means to an escape from the harsh realities of life, my own little fortress of solitude hurtling my lonely soul through space. Limited only by endurance, the presence of another uncharted road not taken, and the money in my debit card, I whimsically burned through fuel and rubber on a moment's notice, whenever frustration inspired. Here's to you, oh wonderful hunk of metal, for filling that corner of my life with memories... (and thanks Mspot for sparking a fun little exercise!)


1981 Ford Fairmont (1987-1989)
Brown Four Door Station Wagon
3.3L Overhead Valve Straight Six, Carbureted
3-speed column shifted automatic
90-something horsepower
Memorable moment: Brake failure going downhill into a stoplight after did-it-myself rear drum brake job
Other tidbits: fantastically accurate but incredibly heavy "powis" steering; speedometer needle that bounces +/- 10mph as it approached 80mph; manual windows all around


1986 Ford Mustang LX (1990-1991)
Grey two door hatchback
3.8L OHV V-6, Central Fuel Injected
3-speed floor-shifted automatic
110-something horsepower with gobs of torque
Memorable moment: Wrapping the speedometer needle around back to 0
Other tidbits: Steering so overassisted you could drive with your pinky; seats that didn't sit upright; crappy front brake caliper bolt design (easy-to-strip torx bolts facing into the car!); first did-it-myself suspension job (rear shocks)


1984 Dodge RAM 250 (1992-1993)
Beige/Brown Custom Van Conversion (with mag wheels!)
5.1L Overhead Valve V-8
3-speed column shifted automatic
? horsepower, adequate torque
Memorable moment: Evacuating the family in a Safeway parking lot one night in Mission Viejo upon realizing the van was dumping gallons of fuel through a hole in the fuel pump
Other tidbits: After 10 years in the family, van was sold with only 25K miles; I pulled my one and only Jerry Rice rookie card from a pack while sitting in this van.


1993 Nissan Altima SE (1993-1999)
Blue Jade 4-door Sedan
2.4L 16V Dual-Overhead-Cam Inline Four
5-speed manual (with limited slip diff!)
150hp, 150ft-lbs torque
Memorable moment: the rhythmic crashing of the snow chains slapping the driver side fender (and chipping paint!) because I couldn't figure out how to secure the loose end with my frozen fingers
Other tidbits: One of the best braking distances of its time...110-feet 60-0; I was actually supposed to get a Black 1993 Sentra SE-R instead of this grocery getter; car is aerodynamically speed limited at 115 MPH


1999 Nissan Maxima SE (1999-2001)
Charcoal 4-door Sedan
3.0L Dual Overhead Cam 24V V-6
5-speed Manual
190hp, 205ft-lbs torque
Memorable moment: Spinning out at 80+ mph because of recently installed rear anti-roll bar combined with abrupt lift-throttle on entry to freeway onramp
Other tidbits: 60K miles in 2 years, and original brake pads (if *that* doesn't say highway miles, I don't know what does). This car was deceptively quick, equipped with one of the most amazing V-6's ever made...too bad it was front wheel drive. First car to ever scare the hell out of me, chickening out at 130 on a stretch of I-8 (it could've gone faster). Only car to make San Jose to San Diego trip in 6.5 hours. Hm, I just realized I never got a ticket in this car.


1993 Nissan 240SX SE (2000-2005)
Aztec Red 2-door Hatchback
2.4L Dual Overhead Cam 16V Inline Four
5-speed Manual
150hp, 150ft-lbs torque
Memorable moment: The very first time I felt the 4-wheel steering kick in...the coolest thing ever.
Other tidbits: I really miss this car.


1995 Infiniti G20 (2001-present)
4-door Sedan
2.0L Dual Overhead Cam 16V Inline Four
5-speed manual
140hp, 132ft-lbs torque
Memorable moment: First car out on the first race of the season, and dumping oil all over the first half of the autocross course because the wrong oil filter was installed, blowing off at high RPM.
Other tidbits: The race-inspired SR20DE powerplant is totally out of steam lugging around the 3200lb chassis. No other FWD four door comes close to the handling prowess of the P10...underpowered but nimble, with a tendency to slide the tail out, this car is an absolute sheer joy to toss around the corners on the way to work.


2003 Honda S2000 (2004-present)
Berlina Black 2-door Convertible
2.0L Dual Overhead Cam 16V Inline Four
6-speed Manual
240hp, 152ft-lbs torque
Memorable moment: Spinning out on turn 11 at Laguna Seca, and stopping 2 feet from the pit wall
Other tidbits: Hitting 9000RPM in second gear with the AEM CAI borders on a religious experience


1991 BMW M5 (2006-present)
Silver 4-door Sedan
3.6L Dual Overhead Cam 24V Straight Six
5-speed manual
315hp, 286ft-lbs torque
Memorable moment: Sitting in a motel room in Denver and hearing fiftynormal shout, "you asshole!" over the phone when he asked if I bought the car.
Other tidbits: The car leaks oil so bad it smokes when pushed hard and smells of burning oil when sitting in the parking lot; the motor idles rough and the transmission is noisy; it gets 11mpg in the city; the bad fan clutch causes the temperature to run a little hot; the steering wheel makes a loud groaning noise when you turn it; the clutch is stiff and the gear throws are long; the leather is old and worn and needs refinishing... But there was nothing sweeter than listening to that motor howl through 3rd gear up in central Oregon with the setting sun warming my face through the open windows...



I'm sure that eventually the realities of life will take hold and force me to choose a wife, kids, soccer practice and Saturday trips fetching steer manure at Home Depot over a senseless blast wasting gas down the 280 with the top down, but I'm going to try my darnedest to postpone the inevitable. In the meantime, I'll keep praying that someday the car gods will find a way to make a car that does an 80mph slalom, hauls 2.5 kids in comfort, does 0-60 in 4 seconds, has room for a 4-by-8 sheet of plywood, and screams to 8000RPM in a voice that makes the hair on your neck stand up... Maybe...one day...

posted by VirtualErn @ 3:32 AM

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