donger need food.

Pop Quiz

Which mayonnaise packets does Ernie use for his steak fries: the soft squishy ones on the left or the firm puffy ones on the right?


A. The ones on the left
B. The ones on the right
C. Neither, you fat ass!! You shouldn't be eating mayonnaise!
D. None of the above; everyone knows that you eat ketchup with fries!

posted by VirtualErn @ 1:30 PM 3 comments

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Save The Cheerleader, Save The World

Like any skilled drug dealer peddling his product, my brother said, "Just watch the first two episodes...if you don't like it, then don't bother". And like any good habitual user, I conceded. "It can't be as good as BSG. It can't be as good as Lost", I thought.

I was wrong.

This is a good show!

posted by VirtualErn @ 5:35 PM 4 comments

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My Four Wheeled Steed

For the past 19 and a half years, it served not only as a means for me to get to work, but it was my refuge: my means to an escape from the harsh realities of life, my own little fortress of solitude hurtling my lonely soul through space. Limited only by endurance, the presence of another uncharted road not taken, and the money in my debit card, I whimsically burned through fuel and rubber on a moment's notice, whenever frustration inspired. Here's to you, oh wonderful hunk of metal, for filling that corner of my life with memories... (and thanks Mspot for sparking a fun little exercise!)


1981 Ford Fairmont (1987-1989)
Brown Four Door Station Wagon
3.3L Overhead Valve Straight Six, Carbureted
3-speed column shifted automatic
90-something horsepower
Memorable moment: Brake failure going downhill into a stoplight after did-it-myself rear drum brake job
Other tidbits: fantastically accurate but incredibly heavy "powis" steering; speedometer needle that bounces +/- 10mph as it approached 80mph; manual windows all around


1986 Ford Mustang LX (1990-1991)
Grey two door hatchback
3.8L OHV V-6, Central Fuel Injected
3-speed floor-shifted automatic
110-something horsepower with gobs of torque
Memorable moment: Wrapping the speedometer needle around back to 0
Other tidbits: Steering so overassisted you could drive with your pinky; seats that didn't sit upright; crappy front brake caliper bolt design (easy-to-strip torx bolts facing into the car!); first did-it-myself suspension job (rear shocks)


1984 Dodge RAM 250 (1992-1993)
Beige/Brown Custom Van Conversion (with mag wheels!)
5.1L Overhead Valve V-8
3-speed column shifted automatic
? horsepower, adequate torque
Memorable moment: Evacuating the family in a Safeway parking lot one night in Mission Viejo upon realizing the van was dumping gallons of fuel through a hole in the fuel pump
Other tidbits: After 10 years in the family, van was sold with only 25K miles; I pulled my one and only Jerry Rice rookie card from a pack while sitting in this van.


1993 Nissan Altima SE (1993-1999)
Blue Jade 4-door Sedan
2.4L 16V Dual-Overhead-Cam Inline Four
5-speed manual (with limited slip diff!)
150hp, 150ft-lbs torque
Memorable moment: the rhythmic crashing of the snow chains slapping the driver side fender (and chipping paint!) because I couldn't figure out how to secure the loose end with my frozen fingers
Other tidbits: One of the best braking distances of its time...110-feet 60-0; I was actually supposed to get a Black 1993 Sentra SE-R instead of this grocery getter; car is aerodynamically speed limited at 115 MPH


1999 Nissan Maxima SE (1999-2001)
Charcoal 4-door Sedan
3.0L Dual Overhead Cam 24V V-6
5-speed Manual
190hp, 205ft-lbs torque
Memorable moment: Spinning out at 80+ mph because of recently installed rear anti-roll bar combined with abrupt lift-throttle on entry to freeway onramp
Other tidbits: 60K miles in 2 years, and original brake pads (if *that* doesn't say highway miles, I don't know what does). This car was deceptively quick, equipped with one of the most amazing V-6's ever made...too bad it was front wheel drive. First car to ever scare the hell out of me, chickening out at 130 on a stretch of I-8 (it could've gone faster). Only car to make San Jose to San Diego trip in 6.5 hours. Hm, I just realized I never got a ticket in this car.


1993 Nissan 240SX SE (2000-2005)
Aztec Red 2-door Hatchback
2.4L Dual Overhead Cam 16V Inline Four
5-speed Manual
150hp, 150ft-lbs torque
Memorable moment: The very first time I felt the 4-wheel steering kick in...the coolest thing ever.
Other tidbits: I really miss this car.


1995 Infiniti G20 (2001-present)
4-door Sedan
2.0L Dual Overhead Cam 16V Inline Four
5-speed manual
140hp, 132ft-lbs torque
Memorable moment: First car out on the first race of the season, and dumping oil all over the first half of the autocross course because the wrong oil filter was installed, blowing off at high RPM.
Other tidbits: The race-inspired SR20DE powerplant is totally out of steam lugging around the 3200lb chassis. No other FWD four door comes close to the handling prowess of the P10...underpowered but nimble, with a tendency to slide the tail out, this car is an absolute sheer joy to toss around the corners on the way to work.


2003 Honda S2000 (2004-present)
Berlina Black 2-door Convertible
2.0L Dual Overhead Cam 16V Inline Four
6-speed Manual
240hp, 152ft-lbs torque
Memorable moment: Spinning out on turn 11 at Laguna Seca, and stopping 2 feet from the pit wall
Other tidbits: Hitting 9000RPM in second gear with the AEM CAI borders on a religious experience


1991 BMW M5 (2006-present)
Silver 4-door Sedan
3.6L Dual Overhead Cam 24V Straight Six
5-speed manual
315hp, 286ft-lbs torque
Memorable moment: Sitting in a motel room in Denver and hearing fiftynormal shout, "you asshole!" over the phone when he asked if I bought the car.
Other tidbits: The car leaks oil so bad it smokes when pushed hard and smells of burning oil when sitting in the parking lot; the motor idles rough and the transmission is noisy; it gets 11mpg in the city; the bad fan clutch causes the temperature to run a little hot; the steering wheel makes a loud groaning noise when you turn it; the clutch is stiff and the gear throws are long; the leather is old and worn and needs refinishing... But there was nothing sweeter than listening to that motor howl through 3rd gear up in central Oregon with the setting sun warming my face through the open windows...



I'm sure that eventually the realities of life will take hold and force me to choose a wife, kids, soccer practice and Saturday trips fetching steer manure at Home Depot over a senseless blast wasting gas down the 280 with the top down, but I'm going to try my darnedest to postpone the inevitable. In the meantime, I'll keep praying that someday the car gods will find a way to make a car that does an 80mph slalom, hauls 2.5 kids in comfort, does 0-60 in 4 seconds, has room for a 4-by-8 sheet of plywood, and screams to 8000RPM in a voice that makes the hair on your neck stand up... Maybe...one day...

posted by VirtualErn @ 3:32 AM 5 comments

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Open 'til Midnight, 364 days a year

I still remember seeing those words stuck on the double glass doors of the Tower Records on Sports Arena Blvd, etched into a corner of my mind, marking a significant part of my childhood in San Diego. The Tower Records building stood across the street from the aging San Diego Sports Arena for as long as I could remember, and became the centerpiece of my short life as a young adult in Southern California. There really wasn't much to do back then as an underage teenager except pile into my 1981 Ford Fairmont Station Wagon (with column shifted 3-speed automatic backing the 90HP 3.3L 12 valve straight six) and make the arduous 20-minute journey northwest from suburban Paradise Hills, with the weekly ten dollar allowance burning a prodigous hole in my pocket... Back then, LPs cost seven bucks (if I was lucky) and cassettes were somewhat cheaper. My memory fails me, as I eschewed those crappy plastic boxes of ferro-magnetic tape for the ultra-chic and higher audio-quality 12" vinyl record. (That I subsequently transferred to tape anyways)

Although I'm guilty of not buying anything from Tower for what seems like years now, hearing the news last week that they were closing their doors for the last time, I couldn't help but reminisce of those times long since gone, of a place that was such a part of my life...

...Back in high school, I had this thing about wanting to drive as many cars as I could. Maestro2b wasn't keen on driving back then, so I had the pleasure of piloting his 4-door Chrysler Reliant K-car to Tower one day. If you're familiar with the parking layout, there are 2 spaces out front that are parallel to the sidewalk, lined by tall steel yellow poles (I guess so you park straight?) Backing out of one of these spots, I really wasn't paying attention, cranked the steering wheel to the right, and heard this loud bang. Turns out that one of those big yellow poles felt the need to crush the driver side fender of Bryan's car. Red-faced and utterly shamed for years to come, I hesitated to drive his car from that point forth...

...I used to attend CCD back in high school, requirement for all good Catholics to receive their Sacrament of Confirmation. Frustrated at the thought of having to spend a few hours out of my precious weeknights listening to nuns and deacons teach us about the power of the Holy Trinity, I chose to flee the scene on several occassions, convincing my godsister and a couple of friends to come with on a trip to Tower. One of these nights was a rainy night, and back then I was your typical teenage driver: speed and tailgating (although many would argue that I haven't shaken these habits). My typical approach to Tower involved approaching from Sports Arena Blvd and taking a left onto Kemper street. Around this time, the horn on my trusty station wagon wasn't working very well, and would make this weak and barely audible "bleeeeehhhhhh" noise. So anyways, we were sitting there at the light behind this old orange Toyota Corolla. I see the reverse lights come on, and so I panic...I lay on the horn (and in that old Ford, they had this weird design where you push in the turn signal stalk to blow the horn -- crazy ergonomics) and slamn the column shifter in reverse. But I was frozen, not letting my foot off the brake to back the car up. Needless to say, she barrelled into my beloved station wagon, climbing the steel bumper and cracking the plastic grill. It seemed to all happen in slow motion, and I couldn't figure out why my stupid foot was pressing the brake pedal so hard instead of moving to the accelerator pedal and backing up the wagon. I had a great time explaining that one to my parents...

...There was a short point during high school when I hung out with a totally different set of friends; one of them owned an old Pontiac Grand Prix equipped with a small block V8. One night he and a friend decided to make a trip out to Tower, bringing me along. I'll never forget that night, for the simple feeling of that moment he slammed the throttle on the Plaza Blvd. onramp to 805 North. I was leaning forward at the time, and it literally threw me back into the seat. We were doing a hundred in no time flat. The funny thing is, I have never felt that kind of torque since. Not in the 300hp '91 300ZX turbo that I was to test drive years later, nor the 302 c.i. Mustang GT that I rented for prom that year. There really is something to be said about old muscle cars... So anyways, we show up at Tower, run around the store lookin' for things to buy, and return to the car. The driver says to us, "I'm never coming back there". "I think they saw me steal that cassette on video". He had shoplifted Body Count's album (the one that had "Copkiller" on it). Nice. Oh yeah, and I hear that album's a collector's item now...

I've made that Tower trek so many times through the years, I can still picture the route...Woodman St and then a right turn onto 52W (where you could practice your 0-60 sprint), then catch the 805N connector, then up and over the freeway on 94W, then that long right hand downhill sweeper to 5N, then Pacific Highway as it crosses over through an S-curve and barrels down near the airport (a great stretch for nailing the throttle), then left hand exit onto Midway Dr, a poorly maintained and pothole stricken road, past the pizza place on the right with the bigger than life pizzas, past the post office on the left (open 'til Midnight!), then right turn onto Kemper... I know that times change, things move on, and all good things must come to an end. Still, it'll be sad to drive by the corner of Kemper St. & Sports Arena Blvd. the next time I'm in San Diego and not see that big yellow sign with the big red letters.

So does anyone remember which day Tower was closed?

posted by VirtualErn @ 5:44 AM 1 comments

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Sushi Monsterrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

I just have to say...Sushi Monster is the absolute best sushi I have had to date.

Shirley and I sat at the sushi bar and chit-chatted with the young sushi chef who goes by the name of "BJ". He suggested the toro and uni, which I promptly ordered.

And he was spot on...


If you notice the Toro on the right, it's not the dark pink/red that I'm used to from other restaurants. BJ tells us that this is the color it's supposed to be...and that in Japan, it's even better. And holy smokes, this thing was amazing...literally melting in your mouth like a big piece of fish fat. MMMMMMMMmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

And that Uni was the first piece I've had in about 7 years now, after being gunshy from the really gross piece I decided to try at Todai's. This piece here was absolutely fresh, as BJ assured me from behind the plastic counter holding the glimmering pieces of fresh fish. It still has that strange texture that's quite offputting to a large number of folks, but that flavor...mmmmmmmmmm.

If you happen to be in Belmont, give Sushi Monster a try.

posted by VirtualErn @ 10:58 PM 3 comments

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Fooosball

posted by VirtualErn @ 6:40 PM 2 comments

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Ernielicious

So Friday was my first day back at the office. I checked my voicemail and received this one on October 11 (the day of my return flight):

"Hello, this is XXXXX from Cathay Pacific Airways baggage services. We wanted to notify you that we have your passport here, please call us at XXX-XXXX."

Nevermind the fact that I didn't even realize my passport was missing.

And then later that night, as I was leaving the office, I had a small panic attack as I patted down my empty right pocket (where I usually have my cellphone). Walking back to the cube, I couldn't find it...until I looked into my left hand, where it was sitting, flip open, because I was reading news stories on it.

I hear it only gets worse from here.
Hell...One of these days I'll probably show up at the office without any pants.

posted by VirtualErn @ 5:51 PM 2 comments

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The Heat Is On In Singapore

From World Weather Server:

Current Conditions in Singapore
Broken Clouds	88°F / 31°C
	Feels like 99°F / 37°C UV: 11 (Extreme)

Maybe I'm walking too fast.
Maybe it's that choking, smoky haze covering the city from those yearly massive slash-and-burn fires raging in Indonesia.
Or maybe it's the huge masses of people swarming the Orchard Road shopping district.

...Or it could just be that I'm too fat. Whatever the case, I can feel that warm sticky sweat soaking off my back into my red Gap classic fit tee, on my arms, on my forehead. The thick air is filled not only with the sounds of a dozen languages, but my nose picks up the unique acrid smell of dried meats, fish sauce, smelly armpits, and fresh fruits. The $1SGD ice cream stalls and the occasional cooling from open shop doors provide some relief from the heat, but I still clamor to hustle back to the room... My lonely solace perched high above the craziness below.
I'm sorely disappointed at the shopping out here...it's a far cry from my joy in Hong Kong at finding not one, but four different stores that actually had a Nikon 18-200 in stock! And at an excellent price to boot. It could be the sharply falling conversion rate (only 4 months ago, it was up near 2.8SGD to 1USD). This are is definitely a shopper's paradise. Everything can be had here, from mega-expensive Cartier jewelry to el-cheapo fakie-fakie stuff. There's a Border's, Coffee Bean, Apple Store, and look out...a GAP store is opening soon. There are no deals to be had, with most everything hovering around the same price range as stuff in the US.

At least I got to see some cool cars.


So I duck into the lobby of the Grand Hyatt, the warm sticky sweat immediately turning into a coating of ice as my body is blasted by the sub twenty degree air conditioning. The noise of the crazy crowded streets quickly fade away as I recede into the depths of the marble floored hotel and scurry into the dark elevator dimly lit by a flickering LCD display advertising the hotel's restaurants. As I slip the key into the energy conservation slot near the door, lights flood the empty living- and bed-room while the AC roars to life, clearing out the stuffy air.

As Damien Rice starts up on my iRiver, a quiet thought crosses my mind...

posted by VirtualErn @ 2:07 AM 1 comments

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HKG TPE SGP

What a wonderful day... Autumn is definitely a good time to visit Taiwan. There’s hardly any rain, and the breaks between the occasional drizzle reveal blue skies above the cloud cover. The proximity of the hotel to the Motorola office affords a nice (although at a moderately brisk pace for my impatient soul) stroll through central Taipei, beneath the looming presence of Taipei 101. The structure dominates the landscape, a behemoth monument in the shape of a bolt of lightning standing over 400 meters tall dwarfing the buildings around it. Nothing nearby comes close in height. The observation deck is usually covered in clouds, swaying with the strong breeze.
But back to our intrepid explorer far below… coping with three and a half hours of sleep, working around the clock for the past few days dealing with buggy software and incredibly aggressive schedules, he uses this weekday morning ten minute walk to get some fresh air and take a break from the hectic regional demands…
For some reason this morning, I decide to navigate to the folder on my trusty iRiver labeled “VOICE” and surprise myself with some recordings from a Rondalla practice session months ago that I had forgotten to offload. Listening to the multiple takes and occasional laughs, the missed cues and erroneous notes, I find myself, remembering how big the LIKHA Rondalla was – is a part of my life. It was easy for me to forget how those weekly Friday night rituals of food, friendship and music always seemed to be just the fitting end I (and I’m sure others) needed to cap the rigors of a hectic work week. As a horde of scooters roars away from the plethora of yellow cabs in front of me, I hope that one of these days I figure out that ever-so-elusive balance that lets me enjoy even just one more night with my old wacky musical compatriots…

But I digress.

Taiwan is just the second leg of this two-and-a-half week revisit to Asia, and so far it’s been quite a busy effort. But I’m grateful that a weekend in Hong Kong afforded me a half day of downtime to put on my trusty Saucony running shoes, backpack in tow, and explore this crowded harbor city on the edge of Kowloon bay.
Dense... If I had only one word to describe this place, that would be it. 70 story apartment buildings are the norm, crowding the skyline with vertical structures of glass, steel and concrete. The town is much more westernized than I had expected; odds are in your favor that you’ll run into someone who speaks English. And in tourist-ridden Lang Kwai Fung, you’ll be hard pressed to find an Asian face in the overpriced bars and restaurants – $120HKD for 3 bottles of San Miguel beer!!! A far cry from the P22 bottles at the 7-Eleven in Rizal...
Navigating the streets of the Hong Kong island side of the city proved difficult (and often dangerous) with the combination of left-side driving and streets that (due to the edge-of-a-hillside topology) were forced into a non-grid layout. The Filipino presence here is quite strong; but interestingly almost all women…On one of my strolls I found myself lost in a mall where literally a hundred Filipina women were sitting on the railing, chatting, relaxing, and eating Filipino food. The mall was peppered with remittance shops and Filipino stores selling such goodies like chicharon, palabok, adobo, etc. And amidst all the 5 foot and under (and honestly quite fresh off the boat) women was this severely out of place gap-shirt-wearing overweight and obviously-tourist guy that looked like a Mexican.

Anyways, while riding along the world’s longest escalator, I happened to stumble upon an interesting landmark:

posted by VirtualErn @ 9:17 AM 3 comments

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