donger need food.

Kumain Ka?

Eons ago, in a land far, far away...I was privileged to be a part of the maestro's little college project where a bunch of Filipinos got to prance around on stage performing their renditions of traditional folk dance interspersed with some politically inspired "skits". In one of the annual events, I was responsible for the script together with one of my long time friends -- we worked together on writing a play. The writing was a tremendous amount of fun...but what made it all rewarding was seeing this thing take on a life of its own as it progressed from inception as a spark in our tiny little brains to the laughter of a theater filled with 500+ whoopin and hollerin' brown people (there were some white people there, I think). One thing that stuck out in my mind was how a simple line: "Did you eat yet?" just ended up carrying the show. We had stuck it in there as just a little gag...a tribute, if you will, to one of the few ways our parents' can communicate their endearing love for us. The actors just totally ran with it, making it a point to say it everytime their (fictional) son/daughter would enter the room. It was a hit.

Why do I bring this up? Well, I'm walking around PW earlier this evening shopping for ingredients for Sunday's dinner, and I am reminded about just how much food we have in this country. I know it's a whole marketing thing -- people won't buy stuff if they see empty shelves; blah, blah, blah -- but still, if you think about it, this is just ONE supermarket. With enough food to feed what must be ten thousand people. For a month. This hedonistic excessiveness culmniated for me in our group outing earlier in the week to The Cheesecake Factory (for a new hire welcome lunch). Something is just plain wrong about that place. I was especially disheartened to see the look on my employee's face when they brought out her eggplant sandwich -- it was so much food, she basically lost her appetite completely. I mean the portion sizes aren't just large, they're borderline vulgar. The meatloaf sandwich looked to be a full two pounds of beef. My salad was piled about six inches high on a 15" plate. One of my employees mentioned that the reason there is so much food is that they can charge higher prices if the portion sizes are larger. And the food is so cheap that they actually make money this way. Yay, capitalism.

And then coming home tonight, even after eating my sandwich, I realize I'm still hungry... I've worked so hard for the past five or so months, and it's still not enough to combat the decades of training...of growing up in a household where you were sternly told to "finish your food!". Backed by harrowing accounts of "people starving all over the world" in conjunction with childhood tales of having to water down the sinigang to serve a family of twelve (however fictional they may have been) ...And so you finished your food.

[I must come clean however, that's not entirely true...me and my brothers loved to eat. Especially since my Mom loved to cook, and not entirely healthily either...deep fried empanadas, butter instead of margarine, real milk, pork adobo without draining the fat...you get the idea. Ahhh, memories. :) ]

So I struggle with what little willpower remains to keep from falling off that horse..."eye on the prize" as they say. The next phase of the renovation will entail even further denials of that which I love best...in an effort to get rid of this gelatinous gut, get myself healthy, and be in good enough shape to race (for real) in 2007. The past several months have been downright awesome, with me feeling worlds better physically and mentally. And all thanks to great support from a good friend. But I must continue the pursuit, and redefine and clarify my goals. And I know it's not going to be easy. I was OK somewhat with cutting down my portion size, but my love for food runs deep...if you tell me I'm going to have to give up that well-marbled USDA prime New York Strip, or Mollie Stone's Tomato Bisque, there's gonna be some trouble. :)

posted by VirtualErn @ 9:34 PM

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