donger need food.

Phew

So I didn't get fired.

:)

The presentation to the CEO and the rest of the executive staff seemed to go OK. My boss thought I did fine, and since they all didn't tear me a new one, I think I escaped relatively unscathed. I can't believe how freakin' nervous I was. I haven't felt like that since...well, hell... a long time! I think it was in college, when I called a girl I liked on the phone to ask her out for the first time. :) I mean, I was sitting there next to our EVP of Engineering, my palms all sweaty, all uptight, leg twitching away. And I've been in worse situations: on sales meetings running a demo with customers and the demo's not working; the lone rep from my company at a BETA test site where no one likes our product; in interviews where I had no clue what da hell I was talking about... Maybe it's because I'm no longer a reckless arrogant twenty something with nothing to lose? Maybe that's it...fear. Fear of failure. Fear of getting chewed out. Fear of being caught unprepared. What da hell happened to me? I used to have no fear. Not a care in the world. Not concerned about tomorrow, or the day after. Not worried about losing my job, confident that I could always get another one. My, how times change when you get older.

So here's a question...All the lowly staff/presenters are there on time, and the exec staff walks in late. Next to me is a crappy little blue chair (all the rest are those nice fancy boardroom chairs). My boss's boss (the aforementioned Engineering EVP) doesn't have a chair to sit on other than that crappy blue chair. I'm sitting in a fancy chair. Do I offer my chair? First instinct was to offer it, but I'm not going to play the submissive asian/lowly worker bee. So I didn't.

Anyways...the other thing that bothered me was that there was a lot of high level business discussion going on, and I couldn't chime in with anything really interesting to say. It was an excellent opportunity to make a name for myself, but oh well. Power hungry director/upper management boardroom executive type this guy does not make. I'm happy workin' the trenches with the rest of gen pop. (heheheh I love that term -- my cousin and her boyfriend works the penal system and it just struck a chord with me).


So here's another question...how do you know if you snore? My brother stayed with me a while back and told me he was surprised I didn't snore anymore. I didn't believe him so I started wondering...how would I know? One thing I could do is put the iRiver on record and let it run for a few hours. But then, how creepy is that, listening to it the next night...with all the lights turned off...all alone at home...played back on my stereo. And underneath my breathing as I fall asleep, you start to hear these faint noises...like someone walking through my apartment, the sound of my doorknob turning, the bedroom door creaking open. And then distinct sounds that there's someone else in my room, breathing heavily...and then over the crystal clear digital sound of the mp3 player, you hear this eerie voice slowly utter the words

help.

me.

...over and over again.
Yeah, that would be just great.

:)

posted by VirtualErn @ 8:15 PM

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