Monday, May 21, 2007

Garbage Fruit

Sharp thorny frozen shards of wooden shrapnel fly across the kitchen floor with each forceful swing of the shiny steel cleaver. That distinct foul odor, although dampened by a frozen journey across the pacific, wafts throughout my apartment.

I wonder what this thing smells like in the wild? Imagine the words that the first humans uttered after stumbling upon this wonderful work of mother nature: "holy @#*^! What is that gawd-awful smell! It smells like ass!!"

For nearly 45 minutes I struggle to release the bounty buried within, cutting my fingers on the sharp needles covering the hardened exterior and making an absolute mess in the process. But the journey proves worth it... A plate full of stinky goodness with the consistency of fibrous melted yellow brain, sweet as liquid sugar. I'm in heaven.

Damn, I want another one...I wonder if Ranch 99 is still open?

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At 5/21/2007 10:52 PM, Blogger bev said...

Wow, I can't believe you ate that!! I wonder what your neighbors think :)

At 5/21/2007 11:17 PM, Blogger VirtualErn said...

Actually, the smell isn't bad at all, because they freeze it. :( Kinda dampens the experience. I really wish they had fresh ones out here...but I doubt the stores could deal with the stench for long.

At 5/22/2007 9:32 PM, Blogger Big Sexy said...

You know that bagobo rice cycle dance that we do, wel it's an excerpt from a dance drama depicting the legend of said fruit. FYI.

At 5/23/2007 1:27 AM, Blogger VirtualErn said...

Interesting! Man, there's gotta be a way to expand knowledge of such things to a wider audience...

At 5/23/2007 9:07 PM, Blogger Gary said...

You have got to check china town, they seem to have everything there.

From sfgate
At Songtheheap Market in Oakland (1400 14th Ave.) and other Asian stores, the faithful are following their noses to the containers.
The first shipment of the golden pillow, mon thong, arrived the last week of March. Within five days, owner Yonita Sam says she was sold out of 20 cases. At $4.99 a pound, a single whole durian (from 6 pounds up) can cost upwards of $30. That, despite the fact the frozen durian is available all year at about 99 cents a pound.
But folks are streaming in and looking for the fresh durian "They're Chinese, Vietnamese, Cambodian, Thai," she says. Westerners they take to it more when it is prepared in a dessert.

At 5/23/2007 11:24 PM, Blogger VirtualErn said...

Oh yeah, that's where we got it the first time. I helped Shirley's mom pick one out for dessert...much cheaper than at Ranch 99! (and so is everything else). We try to go there on the weekends to restock on fruit and veggies cuz it's cheap and fresh. And of course the Dan Tat(?). I just need to get the nerve to order the freshly killed chicken on my own.


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